You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
