Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
