Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
