ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
