his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
