the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You took a bar mat shot.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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