I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
