I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
