the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
