i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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