Need sex. Gaining weight.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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