..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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