so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
