just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
