I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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