Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
