what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
