i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
