I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize