All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
