come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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