Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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