there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
