I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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