Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
