just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
