Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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