Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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