i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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