So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
