Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
