White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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