My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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