No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
