i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
