i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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