Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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