I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
