my mouth tastes like poor choices
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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