I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
