i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
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