i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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