For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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