those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We need to rekindle our bromance
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
