Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
