Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
