those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
