Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
