A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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