i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
