K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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