She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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