can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
