$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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