shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
