I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
