I think i peed on brittanys purse
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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