You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
