just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
